At times the only solace one may be able to take from the act of severing a relationship is recognizing that the excision could have happened later. Meaning the more time cultivating and making a concerted effort one puts in, the more of a waste of one’s life it was had the doomed eventuality have come at a later date.
I’ve sat here for a bit trying to figure out exactly it is I’m trying to type out. I have a lot I want to say but it’s not coming out coherently. Additionally a lot of it likely would come across as reading rather negatively.
As Bill Murray would say “Don’t drive angry.” Seeing how it is x-mas eve, I’ll take Bill’s advice.
I don’t know what the hell is going on with my interpersonal relationships lately. It’s like I’ve lost a step along the way here and I’m slogging through with a marked disadvantage when it comes to dealing those around me. The same people where I once had such an ease and comfort in how we communicated.
But everything is just… off. And now frustration sets in, and now complacency sets in, and now I Don’t Give a Fuck Any Longer rears its head – and when that monster shows up, taking the form of writing someone out of my life for good, I know I’m riding the spiral downward.
I’m just going to not make any rash decisions while I’m in this state. That’s pretty much the only tactic that’ll save and/or salvage what relationships I have left. For now.
I’m sorry, blackcascade.com. I’ve spent so much time working on your backend that content has been relegated to an afterthought. That’s not to say I don’t have big things planned for you, boo. On the contrary – I have so much original music, blog posts and general fuckery just waiting on deck.
It’s just… I’m a perfectionist, dear blackcascade.com. And the context of your content matters to me, my little one. So, rest easy and know I’m nearly done with your window dressing and adornments. You’ll soon be finished.